We're Not All Bad Guys!

I read the article today about Alec Baldwin (http://apnews.excite.com/article/20080923/D93CCUM80.html) and I could feel his pain. I know that there are a number of bad apples among us divorced dads but that doesn't mean we all fall in that bucket. And for those of you who have experience with the court system I am sure that you understand the frustrations he must have felt. Now I am not saying that his outburst is justified but as a dad who dealt with the situation for a long time it is so hard to just stand by and remain quiet but no one wants to listen to us so it becomes inevitable that our feelings will emerge in an unconstructive way. We aren't suppose to feel anway!

It is a shame that a term like "deadbeat dad" exists. I think that people want to forget that women don't pay their child support as well. Also, when a dad does something to a child it is assumed he is a bad person and criminal but when a mom does then the commentary revolves around her not being of right mind, under stress or experienced some chemical imbalance. Excuses, excuses, excuses...

I wish there were a way that the divorcing parents could be identified as A and B and the law could be applied more equitably, but that is just me being idealistic. One of the popular sitcoms has a character that is a divorced father and my stomach tightens when his ex-wife threatens to call her attorney because he didn't pay for her AAA coverage or sends him a bill for their son's sneakers even though he pays his child support. I know it should not affect me but like Pavlov's dogs I guess we get conditioned.

I'm sorry about my ranting but it has been 21 years that I lived this experieince and could only stand by quietly.

If you have anything to add please feel free to comment. This blog is for therapy.

Have a great evening!